When I found out that I was pregnant I was thrilled.
I could not wait to have a little one in my life.
But I soon felt emotionally upset all of the time.
I was astounded by the comments other WOMEN said to me,
“Oh, you are having a girl. Well girls take part of their beauty from their mom. That is why you are puking all of the time. She is taking your looks from you, so that she can be pretty.” What? Really. This woman had a daughter. So I am guessing they do not have a good mother daughter relationship.
“Girls always love their daddy’s more. You will soon because second fiddle in your house.” Second Fiddle?
“Men always side with their daughters over their wives. Soon he will be wrapped around her little finger.
She will always get her way, and will just be the ‘old woman’. Ouch.
“Don’t even think about losing your baby weight, no one ever really does.” Very encouraging.
“After a baby, you can bet your husband will be way more interested in other woman, men always lose part of htier sexual desire for their wives after they give birth.” I am happy to know that.
“After you have a kid your marriage kind of goes down the crapper for a while.” Ok, good to know.
“You are going to breast feed, your boobs are going to turn into watermelons, your boobs are too big for that.” Wow.
“No epidural, what are you trying to prove?” What does it matter to you?
“Public school? Do you know what kind of things go on at those schools? Do you know what kind of freaks go there?” I am a public high school grad.
I know, I know. These are a lot of negative comments. Why am I focusing on the negative?
I guess because I am still amazed at all of the screwed up things other women say to each other.
Why are we so hard on each other?
And I am not innocent; I remember being about 20/21 thinking horrible things about some women I knew who were prego. I thought judgmental thoughts about their weight gain. HA! If only I knew what was in store for me. Once I became prego I knew I was wrong to think those things.
But all of these things were said to me by other MOMS!!! Not young kids without kids.
It is like the grade school attitude for adults, instead of “I have cooler clothes than you.” It is “My kid is going to be better than your kid.”
So what is this all about ladies? Are any of you guilty of being a judgmental against other prego chicks?Why do we have to be so polite when these things are said to us? Why was I told by other women (when I complained) ‘this is part of being pregnant.’ I don’t think there is any reason for anyone to put up with unwanted, unneeded judgmental comments.
So what do you think???
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I totally get what you are saying here! People are always offereing advice to pregnant women, which is good, but I think it should be supportive (and realistic :). And, now that I am on my second pregnancy, and much more emotional during this one, I don't think we need to be nice about it. We could at least be a little sarcastic and say things like, 'Well, that makes me feel good.' or 'Way to be encouraging and supportive'. (I think that is more my personality to do that.) But even simply saying things to prove their negativity wrong, like the public school comment or pointing out that you know people who have lost baby weight and you plan on being positive about it.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about women being petty and competative about their kids. When people say they think Autumn is going to be smarter than so and so or she is advanced in this or that, I just reply with, I don't really care if she is the smartest and all babies do things in their own time, everyone catches up to each other.
I don't think I was ever judgemental against pregnant women, but I have made comments about parenting styles. Now that I am a parent and don't really know what I am doing half the time, I regret being so judgemental. We should start being parents who don't show off and are proud of their kids for who they are. And learn (as I need to sometimes) not to judge other pregnant women or parents because we never know the hardships they are going through.